


Complaints of a Headmaster

by HPFandom_archivist



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Humor, Other, Parody
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-12-13
Updated: 2006-12-13
Packaged: 2018-10-01 02:10:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 460
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10178312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HPFandom_archivist/pseuds/HPFandom_archivist
Summary: Third in my Complaints of series. Disclaimer: J.K. owns all. I make no money from this.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Note from SeparatriX, the archivist: this story was originally archived at [HP Fandom](http://fanlore.org/wiki/HP_Fandom_\(archive\)), which was closed for health and financial reasons. To preserve the archive, I began manually importing its works to the AO3 as an Open Doors-approved project in August 2016. I e-mailed all creators about the move and posted announcements, but may not have reached everyone. If you are (or know) this creator, please contact me using the e-mail address on [HP Fandom collection profile](http://archiveofourown.org/collections/hpfandom/profile).

Disclaimer: J.K. owns all. I make no money from this.

Complaints of a Headmaster

I, Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, have a few things that I would like to set straight. 

I read fan fiction all the time, and I am quite a fan of it. It’s a little lift in my day when one of my favourite stories is updated. But aside from that, I am a tad bit upset at the way some of you portray me.

I have no desire to be as sharp with my comments as Severus (he does tend to hate anybody talking or writing about him, you see) but there several points to which you have damaged my character.

For instance (and I’ll just keep this short, you understand) the stories where I am evil, and Tom Riddle is good, those do tend to strike my last nerve. Yes, I am manipulative, although not to the extent some of you think, but I would never purposely place anyone in harm’s way for my own benefit.

Harry is a dear boy, and even if there was no prophecy to link him to Voldemort, he would feel the obligation to kill him out of revenge for his parents. 

I, incidentally, had no hand in the making of the prophecy. It simply fell into my lap at that moment, so to speak. Actually, that does lead me to a very interesting story. Sybil Trelawney did indeed fall into my lap upon coming out of her “trance-like” state. But I digress. 

And there’s also the thing about Severus – Professor Snape. Yes, I trusted him. I trusted him and cared for him as I would have my own son (though he doesn’t believe it). He simply made a mistake, like everyone has the capacity to do – and he very sincerely apologized and vowed to make up for his mistakes, big and small.

I don’t have nearly as many complaints as Severus or Harry, as my character is usually just a “supporting character” in many tales. 

I am not, contrary to the somewhat popular belief, shagging Minerva McGonagall or any of the other professors.

Tom Riddle is not related to me.

Nor was Grindelwald, for that matter.

And lastly, I do not infuse my lemon drops with calming draughts. They have a natural calming ability. Those Muggles. They’re genius!

And that’s about it – though if I do think of another one I’ll be sure to inform you. Beyond that, please keep writing! I do enjoy your stories so immensely.

 

 

(This is meant only as a joke, there seemed to be some confusion on that part with my earlier lists. I only imagined how the characters would react to reading fan fiction and seeing certain elements of themselves fictionalized)


End file.
